Most of us would have watched the vice presidential debate or seen this picture trending last week when the humble fly took the Internet by storm. The fly was resting on the head of US Vice President Mike Pence and managed to distract everyone’s attention from whatever was being said or promised by him or Senator Kamala Harris.
As a matter of fact, the fly garnered so much attention that the Joe Biden team even launched their own fly swatter fundraising campaign. Awkward, funny and true. Such are the times we live in.
This post has nothing to do with politics and I do not have an opinion between the two candidates, but I do have an opinion on the “Fly on the wall” that managed to switch everyones attention away from the serious conversation just by its mere presence.
This brings me to the reason for writing this post, let’s look at what the phrase being a fly on the wall means.
Fly on the wall : an unnoticed observer of a particular situation.
Definitions from Oxford Languages
Often at work, we hear people say, “I would like to be a fly on the wall in the meeting. Can you please forward the invite over to me?” . You hear this from people who want to be invited to a meeting whereas the original attendees & organizer feel otherwise. The intent is to be present, listen and stay unnoticed.
The first time I heard someone use that phrase a couple of years ago, I chuckled and obliged. I was tickled at the thought of watching a senior professional transform into a fly. This meeting ofcourse was before the pre-covid era when we had the luxury of meeting each other in person. My human colleague walked into the conference room and placed himself on a chair instead of the wall, instantly my inner child was disappointed. I was hoping he kept up to his promise and buzzed around while ocassionally resting on the donuts or the sugar bowl. To my displeasure nothing of that happened, the meeting commenced and the so called fly had not even once sat on the wall or let alone touch the wall. He did pick up a donut though. The gentleman introduced himself to other participants, made notes, asked a couple of questions and even gave me a high-five when he left.
A couple of days later, I even received a request for an update from this individual about the action items discussed in the meeting. That’s when I stopped and thought about this again. What just happened here, the fly on the wall, who was supposed to be an unnoticed silent observer had demonstrated certain unexpected and expected behaviours
Unexpected behaviour from a Fly on the wall
- Introduced himself to everyone
- Made notes
- Interrupted the meeting a couple of times and asked Questions. Atleast 2 of them were irrelevant.
- Gave me a High-five
- Followed up on the status after the meeting.
Expected behaviour from a Fly on the wall
- Ate a donut.
All of this was forgiveable until I heard back from some of the other participants of the meeting. They wondered why I had invited this person to the meeting and expected their concerns of not being able to talk as freely as they would have preferred. I was intrigued and prodded, why would they feel like that? Is it not perfectly normal to allow anyone from the organization or team to be present in any meeting for the sake of transparency, trust and collaboration? At the same time, I also wondered why the fear of missing out affected people so much that they are willing to arm twist their way into a meeting uninvited.
Over the last few years, I have carefully studied this phenomenon and evaluated the agenda as well as outcome of such meetings which had flies on the walls. Some of the common themes have been
- Individuals who demand to be invited into every meeting and promise to not disturb the proceedings don’t generally take a refusal in the right spirit. They tend to get aggressive if refused to be allowed entry.
- Such meetings don’t always deliver on their agenda very well because Flies can be distracting.
- We are obliged to ask for opinions and feedback to the “Fly on the wall” out of courtesy and respect for their presence. No matter what we call it, even if the purpose was to not let the “Fly” opinionate in the meeting, it is bound to happen as someone in the room will drag them in for their opinion unknowingly. In some cases, these individuals themselves interfere and share their uninvited opinion proactively.
- Flies multiply rapidly. The moment you open the door for one fly, you have exposed yourself to more flies. More people will want to attend your meetings, and soon they shall look like townhalls.
- Sheer waste of corporate time and money. If a conversation requires 4 people and lasts 30 minutes. The collective effort is 2 hours. If the meeting adds 2 observing flies, the collective effort costs the organization 3 hours instead of 2.
Now that I understand the damage a fly on the wall does, I have started discouraging this trend and strongly encourage you to do so. Meeting invites are focussed to specific individuals we need to make any decisions and accomplish the agenda. It is recommended that you share meeting notes with anyone that needs to know what was agreed.
Finally one last message for all the folks who love being the “Fly on the wall”, I understand you don’t do this intentionally. We all fall into this trap of wanting to know it all, be present everywhere and fear missing out on critical conversations. However once you start being everywhere, you don’t end up anywhere. It drains you out of energy and blocks you from focussing on the things that matter.